The Alternative Advent Calendar

  • Posted on December 19, 2018 at 8:07 am

Alternative Advent Calendar 19Merry Midwinter’s countdown to Christmas with a difference!

DOOR NUMBER NINETEEN:

Tell someone you love them.

As mature, rational adults we are encouraged not to show our deeper feelings, although thankfully this has begun to change over recent years. Many people assume that their nearest and dearest must know that they care, so why state the obvious? But conversely, I would ask why not? We have got very much better at showing our feelings, but not at expressing them verbally.

It is a sad fact that often, if you tell someone you love them, they respond with suspicion: ‘Why, what do you want?’ or fear, ‘Is something wrong?’ ‘Are you ill?’ How dreadful is that? Why should something have to be dire before it is acceptable to express our most dearly held feelings?

Bite the bullet! Today make a point of saying to someone how much you care. For a friend you may wish to tell them how much you appreciate them being in your life, how much you care for them; for a child, parent or partner how much you love them. It is good to clear one’s throat and actively, openly speak out. These days we are encouraged to speak our truth, to let the world know how we feel, to not just merely defer to others but to speak up for ourselves, so why not apply the same principles to expressions of care, gratitude, fondness and love?

In this modern age of numerous technical devices which all make it so much easier to connect with one another, one of our greatest downfalls is still our bad communication skills. All the devices in the world are not going to solve the problem for us if we still have difficulty actually  articulating the words and recognising and acknowledging the sentiments behind them.

It is good to hear these words of affection too. Sounds good in your own ears and certainly sounds good to other people. Have a practice while you are by yourself. Go on. Say ‘I love you’ out loud… now. And don’t forget yourself in all this. Tell yourself how much you really care too. We habitually leave ourselves out and although this Alternative Advent Calendar is focused on what we can give to others in the run up to Christmas, in this instance, telling yourself how much you care is also a gift because we so often ignore ourselves, deprecate ourselves, or at the very least leave ourselves out of any appreciation or consideration.

I shall start the ball rolling. To all of you who are reading this now, I care very deeply about you, even though I might not know who you are, and if you were standing here in front of me now I would give you a great big smile and open my arms to you and give you a great big bear hug. I truly and deeply appreciate all my readers.

Now it’s your turn. Be bold. Be definite. Stop beating about the bush. Do it. Make someone’s day. Tell those around you just how much you care.

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